Umubano mwiya hagati  y’abana n’ababyeyi ni ingenzi cyane kugira ngo ubuzima burusheho kuba bwiza. Ababyeyi iyo umubano wacu n’abana utagenda neza turabimenya ariko kubera inshingano nyinshi dufite tukabyirengangiza, ntitubihe agaciro cyan, tukavuga ko wenda igihe kizabikemura.

Igihe kiragera umubyeyi agatangira guhangayikishwa n’imyitwarire mibi y’umwana, agasuzuguro, kwiheba, kudasinzira, … kandi yarirengagije imibanire mibi yagiranye n’umwana we mu bihe bishize.

Bamwe mu babyeyi baribwira mu mutima bati ni ibisanzwe ko iyo umwana akura, agenda yikura ku babyeyi  be asa nk’ujya kure yabo.

Ibyo byose ababyeyi  twibwira ntabwo ari byo, imibanire yacu n’umwana igomba gukomeza, ndetse igihe yangiritse tukayigarura, ikigero yaba agezemo icyo ari cyo cyose, n’imiterere afite iyo ari yo yose.

Imibanire myiza hagati y’umwana n’umubyeyi ni ingenzi kuko bituma ubuzima bwe bumera neza kandi bikadufasha kuzuza inshingano zacu nk’ababyeyi.

Iyo umwana mubanye neza, kumurera no kumugira inama birakorohera, akenshi yifuza kumera nkawe, yirinda kukubabaza, ntakunda kukubeshya, akugisha inama kandi yishimira kuba aho uri.

Umwana ukunzwe n’ababyeyi yigirira icyizere, ntatinya gukora imishinga yamuteza imbere, ntahorana ubwoba ahubwo ahora yishimye.

Imibanire myiza hagati y’umwanan’umubyeyi ni umuti ukomeye uvura stress haba ku mwana cg ku mubyeyi.

IBIMENYETSO BYAKWEREKA KO IMIBANIRE YAWE N’UMWANA ITANGIYE KWANGIRIKA

Iri mu byiciro bibiri :

1.       Ntukishimira kuba muri kumwe, utekereza ko umukunda ariko ntugishaka kuba hamwe nawe kuko wumva bikubangamira cg se bikubuza amahoro. Ntakigushimisha ntakigusetsa ahubwo ibiganiro bye, ibyo akubwira bigutesha umutwe. Ntakunezeza nk’abandi bana bawe wumva utagishaka guhura cg se guhuza nawe.

2.       Umwana wawe araguhunga ,ntashaka kurebana nawe, yifungirana mu cyumba ngo mutabonana, arakubeshya kenshi, akora ibintu azi ko bitagushimisha cg se bikubabaza, ahitamo kuba ari kumwe n’undi muntu kuruta wowe, n’ibindi bikwereka ko aguhunga.

Niba ushidikanya kora uyu mwitozo, ujye aho aryamye umurebe wumve amarangamutima ugira, niba ari meza : kumva umukunze, umwishimiye, unejejwe no kuba umufite, … cg se ari mabi : agahinda, uburakari, kwicuza ,…

Niba wumva umufiteho amarangamutima mabi dore bimwe mu byo wakora ngo ubumwe bwanyu bugaruke :

1.       FATA IGIHE HAMWE NAWE

Fata umwanya wo kuba hamwe n’umwana wawe, ibyawe ubishyire ku ruhande, uzimye telefone yawe maze wite ku bye, ku mikino akunda, indirimbo akunda, ku nshuti ze, …

2.       GERAGEZA KWISHIMA NO KUBA NKA WE

Niba ushaka kugarura imibanire yawe n’umwana wawe iga kubana nawe binyuze cyane cyane mu mikino . Gabanya kwigira umuntu ukomeye kuri we ahubwo wige gukina nawe no kuganira nawe .

3.       IGA KUMUKORERA IBYIZA

Niba hari igikorwa kimwe wakoze ukumva ari kibi, ukore ibindi birenze kimwe byiza. Niba wamutonganyije cg wamubwiye nabi, uze kumwegera umuhobere umubwire ko umukunda, ushushanye utuntu twiza tumwereka ko umukunda.

4.       TANGIRANA NAWE UMUNSI NEZA KANDI MUWUSOZANYE NEZA

Utitaye ku kuntu umerewe tangirana igitondo n’umwana wawe umusuhuza, umusoma ku itama, umubwira ko umukunda, umusekera. N’iyo mwaba mutavuganye neza nimugoroba, mbere y’uko aryama ugende umurebe muvugane neza, mwiyunge niba mwatonganye, umwibutse ko umukunda mutandukane neza mbere y’uko asinzira.

5.       IBIHE BIMUGOYE BIHINDUREMO UBURYO BWO KUMWEGERA KURUSHAHO

Aho kugira ngo ureke kwita ku bibazo bye cg se ubihunge, wirengagize ibyo akubwira ,ahubwo ibyo bihe arimo bigendereho urusheho kumwereka ko umukunda. Niba ubona arakaye, nturakare kumurusha, ngo uteshe agaciro ibimuhangayikishije umwereka ko ntacyo bivuze, ahubwo ugende buhoro umubaze neza ikimubabaje kandi umuhumurize.

6.       REBA AMAFOTO Y’AHAHISE

Niba ufite amahirwe yo kugira amafoto yo hambere utaramugiraho amarangamutima mabi, yafate uyarebe,ashobora kuba aya kera akivuka, ari igisekeramwanzi, yiga kugenda, atangira ishuri, n’andi yose waba ufite. Uhumirize amaso wibuke amarangamutima wari ufite icyo gihe maze uyakurure ugerageze kongera kuyumva ubungubu. Usubire muri uwo mwitozo kenshi.

7.       MUBWIRE KO UMUKUNDA

Iyo nteruro ababyeyi benshi turayitekereza ariko kuyisohora tuyibwira umwana umaze gukura biratugora. Niba wumva byoroshye kubibwira umwana ukiri muto, wagombye no kubikomeza igihe umwana amaze gukura, tukamubwira n’andi magambo meza y’urukundo.

8.       JYA UHA AGACIRO UMWANA WAWE

Jya umushimira ku bintu byiza yakoze, ibyo wamubwiye gukora n’ibyo yiterereje gukora byose ubimushimire kandi ubikore bikuvuye ku mutima.

9.       IGA KUMUTEGA AMATWI CYANE MAZE UVUGE MAKE

Niba ubona hari ikibazo afite, genda umwicare iruhande umubaze ikibazo afite ubundi umutege amatwi akubwire. Wirinde kumuca mu ijambo, cg se kumuha inama no kumwereka ibisubizo. Kumutega amatwi utamucira urubanza bizatuma azajya akugirira icyizere akubwire ibimuhangayikishije.

10.   IGA KUREBA KURE HOSE UKENEWE

Ababyeyi ubuzima bwacu bwa buri munsi buba bwuzuye guhugirana: akazi, abatuvugisha cg se abo tuvugisha kuri telephone, imirimo yo mu rugo, … bityo tukabura umwanya w’abana igihe badukeneye ngo tubiteho. Kubera ko tuba duhuze tubasubiza interuro zimwe ngo: tegereza,ntabwo ari nonaha, turavugana mu kanya, ubu se ntubona ko nta mwanya mfite, ibyo bikatubuza imibanire myiza n’abana bacu. Igiheumwana aje akugana, shyira ibyo ukora ku ruhande akanya gato umutege amatwi. Niba ubona agushaka nta mwanya ufite, ushoborakumusoma ku itama ukamubwira uti mwana wanjye ndashaka kumva ibyo umbwira ariko ubu ntabwo nagutega amatwi uko bikwiye reka ndangize ibi ndi gukora hanyuma nze ngutege amatwi ntuje. Igisubizo wamuha cyose mwereke ko ari uw’agaciro kurusha ibyo urimo.

Mu bindi byagufasha, ushobora gushyiraho gahunda ihoraho y’ibyo ugomba gukorana n’ umwana wawe, ugashyiraho gahunda ihoraho y’imikino, ibiganiro n’ibindi byaguhuza n’umwana cyane.

Mu gusoza nta gihe kidashoboka kugarura umubano wawe n’umwana, byose birashoboka iyo umubyeyi abishyizemo ingufu kandi akihangana agategereza igihebizagarukira.

IMANA IBAHE UMUGISHA

 https://www.elena-goutard.com, retreviewed on 12/10/2023

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