Kubabarira ni iki?

Abantu benshi kandi batandukanye bagize icyo bavuga, bashaka gusobanura imbabazi icyo ari cyo.

Uwitwa Lewis B. Smedes avuga ko kubabarira ari ukurekura imbohe (imfungwa) no gusobanukirwa neza ko imfungwa yari wowe ubwawe.

Martin Luther King, we avuga ko kubabarira atari igikorwa umuntu akora mu gihe runaka, ahubwo ari imyitwarire umuntu agira mu buzima.

Imbabazi ni ukwemera kugira imyitwarire runaka, ni ukwemera kujya mbere, kumererwa neza no kugabanya umubabaro. Ni ukwemera inshingano zawe ubwawe no kureka abandi bagafata izabo. Ni icyemezo cyo kwinjira muri ubu buzima butujyana hirya no hino nk’umuraba (Edith Stauffer)

Uwitwa Dicton we avuga ko kubabarira ari ukwemera gutakaza icyizere cy’uko ahahise h’ubuzima bwawe hagombaga kuba heza.

Kuri Achevêque Desmond Tutu, kubabarira ntabwo ari ukubona ibintu mu buryo bwiza gusa, ahubwo ni n’uburyo bwiza bwo kugera ku nyungu zawe bwite.

Iyo tubabariye, turakira twebwe ubwacu, tugakiza n’abandi (Roger W. McGowen)

Kubabarira ni ukuvumbura impano ihishe inyuma y’ikigeragezo. Ni ugufata inshingano zo kwemera ibitubaho no kutagira uwo turenganya (Meena Compagnon)

Kutababarira ni iki?

Dr. Gérald Jampolsky we avuga ko kutababarira cg se kudatanga imbababazi ari uguhitamo guhora ubabaye.

Desmond Tutu abivuga neza ko kubabarira ari inyungu zawe mbere na mbere, ni wowe ubwawe uba wihaye impano yo kwibohora aho wari uboheye, kuko kutababarira ni wowe ubwawe uba wishyize mu gihano cyo guhora ufungiranye mu mubabaro, kandi ibyo bigira ingaruka nyinshi ku buzima bwacu, ku byishimo duterwa n’ubuzima, ku mibanire yacu n’abandi, n’ibindi byinshi.

William Fergus Martin, mu gitabo cye “kubabarira ni imbaraga” avuga zimwe mu ngaruka ziterwa no kutababarira.

Urwango rutera umujinya (uburakari)

Agahinda gutuma uhora umeze nk’umuntu uri mu cyeragati (usa nk’utazi ibyo urimo)

Kumva utarahawe ubutabera bigutera kugambanira abandi

Kumva ko watereranywe n’abandi bigutera kwigunga

Kumva ko ntawe ukumva bigutera umubabaro

Ububabare bw’umubiri bugutera guhora ufite ubwoba

Kumva ufite ipfunwe bigutera imyitwarire nk’iy’abasazi

Kumva ko nta mbaraga ufite bigutera kumva ko watakaje byose ko ntacyo wabona (wageraho)

Kumva ko watawe, wahawe akato, ko ntawe ukugenga bigutera gushaka kwihorera

Abahanga bavuga ko buri gitekerezo cyose kiri muri twe, kigirana isano n’amarangamutima tugira kandi byose bikagira ingaruka ku bwirinzi bw’umubiri wacu, ni ukuvuga ku basirikare bafasha umubiri wacu kuwurinda ibyawuhungabanya  cyangwa se ibyawutera uburwayi. Igitekerezo cyose kitari cyiza cyangiza imikorere myiza y’umubiri. Aha niho abavuzi bajya bahuriza indwara ya kanseri n’umubabaro umuntu yagize mu buzima.

Ubuhamya bwinshi buvuga ku mbabazi, ahanini bwerekana ko kubabarira bibohora nyir’ugutanga imbabazi, bikagarura umutima we wari warahabye kandi bikagarura ubuzima.

Umuntu witwa Marian Partington yatanze ubuhamya yerekana uburyo yahindutse amaze gutanga imbabazi.

Mu mwaka wa 1973, Lucy bucura bw’iwabo wa Marian yarabuze, aburira aho bus zihagarara mu bwongereza. Baramushakisha uko bashoboye baramubura. Hashize imyaka 20 abuze, bimwe mu bice bigize umubiri we byaje kuboneka hamwe n’abandi bantu benshi bishwe mu nzu y’uwitwa Fred na Rosemary West. Abo ni abantu bari bafite uburwayi bwo mu mutwe bwo gushimishwa n’uko abandi bababaye. Bicaga abantu bamaze kubakorera ihohoterwa n’iyicarubozo bikomeye.

Burya nubona umuntu anezezwa n’uko abandi bababaye, agashimishwa n’uko abandi bafite ibibazo ntukagire ngo ni umuntu mubi cg umwite umugome, ahubwo ujye umenya ko arwaye kubera amateka mabi y’ubuzima bwe bw’ahahise, nubishobora ujye umufasha guhura n’abafasha abafite ibibazo byo mu mutwe.

Dukomeje ubuhamya bwacu, Marian akomeza avuga ko, nyuma yo kumenya ayo makuru ababaje kuri murumuna we, yababaye bikomeye ajya mu buruhukiro kugira ngo akoreshe ibiganza bye bwa nyuma ku muvandimwe we yakundaga cyane. Muri uwo mwaka kandi nibwo yatangiye gukurikirana inyigisho zirebana no gutanga imbabazi, yumva afite icyifuzo kubabarira abo bahemu. Ku munsi wa mbere avuye muri izo nyigisho, avuga ko yagiriye umujinya mwinshi bikabije abamutwaye umuvandimwe we. Mu magambo ye arivugira ati: “umujinya wanyuzuye umubiri wose nk’umuraba. Numvaga nshaka gusakuza cyane, nkavuza induru, nashakaga gupfura imisatsi yanjye kandi nashakaga gushinga inzara mu butaka”.  Avuga ko kuri we, kubabarira byatangiranye n’umujinya mwinshi cyane, ndetse umujinya ushobora kwica umuntu.

Akomeza agira ati: “kugeza umunsi numva uwo mujinya, ntabwo nari narigeze ntekereza ko nagira ibyuyumviro by’ubwicanyi. Ariko muri ako kanya mfite uwo mujinya numvise nshobora kwica umuntu. Iyo mbona umwe mu bishe umuvandimwe wanjye muri ako kanya mba naramwishe. Urumva ko ntaho twari dutandukaniye, nari meze nkabo neza nkurikije uko niyumvaga”.

Avuga ko nyuma yaje kumenya kumenya ko Fred na Rosemary West bagize amateka mabi kuva bakiri bato kugeza bakuze, amateka arimo n’ihohoterwa rikomeye. Ni ukuvuga ko bakuriye mu mubabaro, bakuriye muri gereza y’umubabaro (ubuzima bushaririye), nta kindi kintu cyiza bigeze bamenya uretse ibintu bibi (ubugome). Batangaga icyo bari barahawe ari nacyo bari bafite “IBIBI”. Aragira ati: “guhera ubwo natangiye kwanga ubwo buzima babayemo (guhora ubona ibibi) ari nayo nzira yabagejeje ku gukora ibikorwa bakoraga. Natangiye urugendo rwo kurekeraho kubita amashitani kuko kutababona nk’abantu kwari ukwinjira mu buzima nk’ubwabo bwo kutabona abandi nk’abantu bakababona nk’abakwiriye kubabara no kubabazwa. Natangiye kuvugana nabo mu bitekerezo byanjye nk’abantu aho kubatekereza nka satani”.

Kubabarira bituruka cyane mu bitekerezo, ukagira icyifuzo cyo kwibohorano kwiha umudendezo ukabona uburenganzira bwo kwishima wari wariyimye. Kubabarira ntibikorwa ku ngufu ahubwo birategurwa kandi bikagenda buhoro buhoro. Ariko kandi nibwo buryo bwiza bwo kujya mbere kuko kubabarira byubaka umubano mwiza hagati yanjye n’umubabaro wanjye, kandi ibyo bishobora kugirira abandi akamaro. Ibyo bikaba byatuma bakoresha ubuzima bwanjye mu kugabanya cyangwa se mu guhagarika uruhererekane rw’ubugizi bwa nabi buri muri iyi isi.

Hari ibintu byinshi twakura muri ubu buhamya:

1.      Kwemera ko ayo marangamutima mabi, turi kumva muri twe kubera umubabaro twagize, azamuka muri twe ntituyapfukirane (gusa ugomba kuyemerera kuza muri wowe ariko ntabwo ugomba kuyashyira mu bikorwa uko uri kuyumva). Ibyo nibyo Marian yakoze, byubaka ikiraro cyamuhuje n’abamuhemukiye. Yamenye ko n’ubwo ari umuturage mwiza w’igihugu, n’ubwo ari umukirisito mwiza nawe ashobora gutekereza kwica.

2.      Yamenye amateka y’ahahise h’abo bantu bamuhemukiye. Gusobanukirwa bisimbura guca urubanza.

3.      Ibyo byatumye yihuza n’agace kabo k’ubumuntu atangira kuvugana nabo mu bitekerezo bye, nk’abantu.

4.      Buhoro buhoro yumvise umubabaro ubuze gihoza icyo ubyara.

5.      Ababarira avuga ko utababarira ku mbaraga cyangwa ngo ubipange. Urugero ngo uvuge uti kuva uyu munsi kugeza mu kwezi kwa 12 nzababarira kanaka na kanaka, ahubwo ko ari urugendo rukorwa n’imitekerereze n’umutima.

Iyo niyo mpano Marian yihaye ayiha n’abatuye isi yose.

Tubararikiye kuzakurikira igice kizakurikiraho kizakomeza kudusobanurira ku byiza byo gutanga imbabazi.

Imana ibahe umugisha.

Byanditswe na NAHAYO Pélagie