Abantu bakuru akenshi dutekereza ko ari twe tugira ibibazo. Twibwira ko abana ntabyo bagira kuko baba bafite ababarebera, bashinzwe kumenya ibyabo no kubitaho. Ikindi ni uko tubona bahora bakina, tugakeka ko nta wakina ababaye. Nyamara abana nabo bagira ibibazo ku rwego rwabo kandi iyo babigize bakabura ubafasha birabakomerera cyane, ndetse bikaba byanabaviramo ihungabana ryangiza ubuzima bwabo bwose bw’ahazaza.

Abana bose bashobora guhungabana baba bari mu nda z’ababyeyi babo cg se baravutse.

Reka dukurikire iyi nkuru y’umwana witwa Kasi kugira ngo tubyumve neza.

Mu karere ka Bokoda muri Bingola hari umuhungu wari ufite imyaka irindwi. Yari afite abavandimwe 8 ndetse yari yaratangiye ishuri vuba aho. Buri gitondo yakundaga kujya kwiga ari kumwe n’inshuti ze, mwarimu yabwiraga se ko akurikira mu ishuri kandi ko atangiye kumenya gusoma. Nyuma ya saa sita Kasi yakinaga umupira n’abandi bana kandi agafasha nyina imirimo yoroheje. Yari umwana wishimye kandi wishimiye ubuzima. Umunsi umwe Kasi abona ko se, amara igihe kinini avugana n’abagabo bo ku musozi w’iwabo, naho nyina akavugana n’abandi bagore bo mu itorero. Ntabwo yashishikazwaga no kumenya ibyo baganira, ariko byatumye atangira guhangayikishwa n’ibyavugwaga. Nta muntu wigeze amubwira ibyo ari byo, yaba ari iwabo cg se ku ishuri. Rimwe nijoro akurwa mu bitotsi na mukuru we, hanyuma umuryango wose usohoka mu nzu wiruka. Yumvise ko ari abagizi ba nabi babateye, ariko ntiyumvaga icyo bari bukore. Igihe barimo bahunga yumva urusaku, ahindukiye abona undi muryango wirukanka inyuma yabo, ariko umwana wabo muto yitura hasi maze arapfa. Nyuma ntabwo yashoboye kwibuka uko byagenze, ariko bukeye bwaho umuryango we wose, hamwe n’indi miryango ine baca ingando mu ishyamba ahantu hari ibihingwa.

Se wa Kasi agerageza kubitaho uko ashoboye, kandi buri wese agakora cyane kugira ngo bubake amazu y’ibyatsi yo kwikingamo. Nta muntu n’umwe washoboye kubwira Kasi ku byerekeye urupfu rw’inshuti ye, yapfiriye mu maso ye, noneho Kasi akagerageza kwibagirwa ibyo yabonye. Yari afite inshuti z’urungano bakinaga neza, maze nabo bubaka utuzu tw’abana aho bashoboraga gukinira. Hashize igihe umwe mu bagabo atangira kwigisha abana buri gitondo. Barateranaga bagasenga, abantu bakuru bakiga gusoma no kwandika. N’ubwo bimwe mu byo bari bafite byashize ariko ntabwo bagize ikibazo cy’inzara. Iyo umwe muri bo yarwaraga, bose basengaga Imana bashishikaye kugira ngo Imana imukize kuko nta miti babaga bafite ngo bamuvure. Kasi atangira kugira ubwoba bwo kuba yarwara. Nijoro yarotaguzwaga avuza induru kubera ubwoba. Hashize ukwezi bamwe basubira aho bari batuye kureba uko bimeze, basanga ibintu byinshi byarangiritse ariko basanze bashobora gusubirayo nta ngorane, nuko basubira iwabo batangira gukorana ingufu n’umuhati kugira ngo bongere kubaka amazu yabo. Hashize iminsi batangira kwiga. Kasi ntabwo yigeze ashaka kujya ku ishuri. Ise yamuhatiraga kujyayo. Ku ishuri umwarimu nawe, yamubwiraga nabi kuko atiga neza nka mbere. Yari afite ubwoba agatinya kuva mu rugo, ahubwo yumvaga ashaka kwigumanira n’umwe wo mu muryango we. Igihe cyose humvikanye urusaku, Kasi yarasimbagurikaga, nijoro akabyutsa umuryango we avuza induru kandi arira. Rimwe na rimwe akanyara mu buriri, nyamara mbere y’ibyo bahunga ntabwo byari byarabaye. Yatemberaga afite agahinda kandi rimwe na rimwe arira. Mbere yakunga gukina n’inshuti ze, ariko ubu ntabyitabira cyane. Iyo akina n’abandi bana aba ashaka gukina iby’intambara kandi akamera nk’ugirira abantu nabi, nyuma bikarangira arwanye n’inshuti ze. Buri mugoroba yarundarundaga utuntu twe yumva ko bashobora kongera guhunga, abavandimwe bo bakamuseka. Ababyeyi n’abarimu be ntabwo bumvaga impamvu yitwara atyo. Igihe yanyaraga mu ikabutura ye cg akarwana na bagenzi be, nyina yaramukubitaga. Ibyo byatumaga arira cyane kurushaho, ariko imyitwarire ntihinduke. Ababyeyi be ntabwo bari bazi icyo bagomba kumukorera.

Ni ibiki bishobora gutera abana ihungabana?

Ibihungabanya abana ni byinshi ndetse bimwe ntabwo tubiha agaciro kuko tubibona nk’ibisanzwe ariko ku mwana we biba bikomeye  cyane. Bimwe muri byo ni ibi bikurikira:

-        Intambara

-        Urupfu rw’umuntu we cg se uwo azi

-        Amakimbirane hagati y’ababyeyi be

-        Uburwayi bw’umwe mu muryango we cg uburwayi bwe ku giti cye

-        Gutereranwa cg kutitabwaho

-        Guhohoterwa ku mubiri no mu marangamutima haba mu rugo cg ku ishuri

-        Impanuka

-        Kubona cg kuba mu bintu bibi ibyo ari byo byose mbere y’imyaka 18, …

Iyo abana bahuye n’ibibazo bibahungabanya bitwara bate?

Iyo abana bahuye n’ibibazo by’ihungabana bibagiraho ingaruka mu buryo butandukanye.

Ingaruka mu mimerere yabo

-        Guhinduka abanyabwoba, bagashaka kwigumanira n’ababyeyi babo

-        Gutinya abo batazi no gutinya umwijima

-        Guhora bumva hari ikintu kibi kiri bubagwirire

-        Gutinya kujya ku ishuri

-        Kurakara cyane cg kugira amahane

-        Abana bato bakunda kurwana na bagenzi babo kurusha mbere

-        Abana bakuru bigomeka ku babyeyi no ku barezi babo kurusha uko byari bimeze mbere

-        Bagira agahinda cyane kandi buri kanya

-        Bumva badashishikajwe n’ubuzima, umubabaro ukuzura mu bitekerezo byabo ukabaca intege

-        Guhora bicira urubanza ku byabaye bumva ari bo nyirabayazana

Impinduka mu mibiri yabo

-        Kugira ibibazo mu kuvuga, bakavuga badidimanga cg bikabananira burundu

-        Kudashaka kurya kandi bashonje cg se bagashaka kurya cyane kugira ngo bacogoze umubabaro wabo

-        Kubabara  umutwe, mu nda cg se mu bindi bice by’umubiri

Impinduka mu myitwarire

-        Kwitwara nk’abana bato. Urugero: abana bashobora gutangira kunyara mu buriri cg konka igikumwe cyabo kandi mbere ntabyo bakoraga

-        Kudasinzira neza no kurota inzozi mbi, bagataka cg bagasakuza kandi basinziriye

-        Gukina ibintu bibi

-        Kurwana buri gihe no kurakazwa n’ubusa buri kanya

-        Kurizwa n’ubusa kandi bitari bisanzwe

-        Kwiga nabi mu ishuri kubera gucika intege kandi ubundi yarakurikiraga neza

-        Kunywa ibiyobyabwenge ku bana bakuru bashaka gucogoza akababaro kabo, gutwara ibinyabiziga bihuta cyane, kujya ahantu hashyira ubuzima bwabo mu kaga, kujya mu gisirikare

-        Kwigirira nabi ku mubiri wabo cg se kwiyahura

Abana bafite ibibazo by’ihungabana bafashwa bate?

A)  Niba bishoboka umuryango ugomba kuba hamwe ukagira gahunda idahindagurika

Kugira ibikorwa bya buri munsi bizwi, biroroha kubikora bikagirira abana akamaro.

Kubashishikariza kujya mu ishuri, gufasha abandi imirimo no gukina na bagenzi babo

Kugira umwanya wo gukina muri hamwe nk’umuryango imikino inyuranye, guca imigani, ibisakuzo,…

Gutangira ibikorwa kandi mukabirangiza hamwe, bituma umwana yumva hari icyo yakoze, akiyumvamo umutekano kandi bikamufasha gutekereza ko ejo hazaza ari heza.

Igihe ababyeyi batumvikana neza, bagomba gukemura amakimbirane ari hagati yabo, ku bw’inyungu zabo n’iz’abana babo

B)   Abantu bakuru bagomba kumva akababaro k’abana

Abana bumva cyane ikintu gikorerwa iruhande rwabo kurusha abantu bakuru. Usanga bashaka kugira icyo bongera ku bivuzwe. Iyo babuze umwanya wo kukivuga bashobora kwishyiramo ibitekerezo bitari byo. Bagomba guhabwa umwanya wo kuvuga ibyo batekereza.

Kugira akamenyero ko kubaganiriza, by’umwihariko igihe hari ibibazo by’ihungabana ndetse na nyuma yabyo.

Kuganira ku bibazo biriho, mukabiganira ku rwego rwabo mudahora mubirukana ngo bajye gukina

Kubaha umwanya wo kuvuga amarangamutima bafite cg bagize kubera ibibazo bahuye nabyo

Niba abana barenze umwe mu muryango, kugira umwanya wo kuganira na buri mwana ku giti cye

Kubaha umwanya wo gukina kuko niho basohorera amarangamutima yabo neza kurusha kuvuga

Kubaganiriza ku mikino mibi igaragaza amarangamutima yabo kugira ngo bashobore gusobanukirwa ikibazo nyakuri bafite

Kubaha umwanya wo gushushanya kuko naho basohoreramo amarangamutima yabo. Niba nta rupapuro bafite bashobora gushushanya hasi, mu mucanga, …

Niba batazi ibyo bagomba gushushanya, basabe bashushanye umuntu, umuryango wabo, aho batuye cg se bari batuye n’ibindi bashaka. Ugomba kubikora uzirikana ko atari ukubigisha gushushanya ahubwo ari ukubafasha gusohora amarangamutima y’akababaro kabo.

Niba umwana adasinzira neza, ugomba kumusobanurira ko rimwe abantu bagira inzozi mbi bitewe n’ibihe by’ihungabana. Kumubaza niba atekereza ko inzozi ze hari icyo zihuriyeho n’ibyamubayeho.

C)   Abantu bakuru bagomba kubwiza abana ukuri ku byabaye

Umwana akeneye kumenya ukuri ku byabaye, ku buryo bujyanye n’ikigero cye.

Agomba no kumenya niba icyo cyago kikiriho cg se cyararangiye n’ibyo cyahungabanyije.

Kumenya iby’ukuri bituma atihimbira ibintu bitari byo cg bitabaho mu mu mutwe we.

Si byiza gukabiriza icyago cg  bavuge amakuba yose ashobora kwaduka.

Ababyeyi bagomba gukora gahunda y’ikizakorwa igihe bazaba bagwiririwe n’ibyago hanyuma umuryango wose ukabiganiraho.

D)  Umuryango wose ugomba gusengera hamwe

Gusengera hamwe ni byiza kuko abantu bavuga uko umunsi wabo wagenze, buri wese ndetse n’abana bagatanga ibyifuzo byo gusengera.

Umwana uzi kuvugana n’abandi ashobora kuvugana n’Imana.

Iyo umwana yahuye n’ikibazo hari igihe ata icyizere ndetse akagitakariza n’Imana mu bibazo byinshi yibaza. Mugomba kubasubiza uko bishoboka kose kandi ku buryo bubashishikariza kugirira Imana icyizere.

Dore amwe mu magambo mubashishikariza gufata mu mutwe:

Imana ni umurinzi udasinzira na rimwe

Imana ishobora gukuraho ubwoba bwacu

Imana imeze nk’umuntu ufata amatungo ye neza

Imana irahari buri gihe nk’ubuhungiro bwacu.

Icyitonderwa:

Igihe ubona ko ihungabana umwana afite rikomeye kandi ritakizwa n’ibyo byose byavuzwe cg se ukabona ibimenyetso afite birushaho kwiyongera biba bibi aho kugira ngo bigabanuke, ugomba kwitabaza inzobere mu bijyanye n’ihungabana bakamufasha.

Umwanditsi: NAHAYO Pelagie

IBYIFASHISHIJWE

Igitabo cya Bible Society of Rwanda “GUKIZA IBIKOMERE BY’IHUNGABANA”, 2012