Mu buzima bwacu, kumva ukeneye umuntu ukwitaho nawe ukamwitaho ni ibintu bisa nk’aho biri muri buri  wese. Hari ubwo wumva bifite imbaraga nyinshi muri wowe n’iyo waba ukiri muto.

Abari mu kigero cy’ubugimbi n’ubwangavu nibyo bita “kugira inshuti (copain, copine, girlfriend, boyfriend)” mu yandi magambo twabyita “kugira umukunzi”.

Ese kugira umukunzi (inshuti) wumva ari iki?

a))Kugira umuntu mudahuje igitsina musohokana buri gihe

b)Kumva hari ikintu kiri hagati yawe n’umuhungu kanaka cyangwa n’umukobwa kanaka gisa nk’ikigukurura, ukamwandikira kenshi cg ukamuhamagara kenshi

c)Igihe cyose uri kumwe n’inshuti zawe ushiduka wagiye kwegerana n’uwo muntu mudahuje igitsina mwiyumvanamo, bisa nk’aho agukurura

Ubundi kugira umukunzi (inshuti) ni ukugira imibanire y’amarangamutima n’umuntu, akaba ari we uhinduka uw’ingenzi mu buzima bwawe kandi nawe ukaba uri uw’ingenzi kuri we.

Ni ukuvuga ko ibyo byose byavuzwe hejuru ari ukuri. Uko mwaba muhura uko ari ko kose, byaba imbonankubone, haba kuri telephone, mwaba muhura mu ibanga, uwo muntu mwiyumvanamo akenshi yitwa umukunzi (copain, copine, girlfriend, boyfriend)

Ikibazo cy’amatsiko: Ese witeguye kwinjira muri iyo nzira? Kuki ushaka kugira umukunzi (inshuti)?

Mu mico imwe n’imwe kugira umukunzi biremewe, kandi bifatwa nk’ibisanzwe mu rwego rwo kumenyana kurushaho. Gusa byakagombye kuba bifite intego imwe yo gufasha abo bakundana kumenya niba bashaka kubana nk’abubakanye.

Niba ufite umukunzi ariko nta gahunda mufite yo gushyingiranwa nk’umugabo n’umugore, uba umeze nk’umwana ukina n’ibikinisho bye, yabihaga akabinaga hasi rimwe na rimwe agahitamo ibindi yumva ashaka gukina nabyo.

Yego nibyo bamwe mu nshuti zawe bakubwira ko kugira inshuti ari ibintu biraho kandi ko ntacyo bitwaye. Bakunda kugira inshuti y’umwihariko ariko nta gahunda yo gushyingiranwa bafite. Abandi babifata nk’aho ari ubutwari kandi ko bibahesha agaciro mu bandi. Iyo mibanire akenshi ntiramba, bene izo nshuti zisohokana igihe gito ubundi zigatandukana. Ibyo bituma imibanire yose bayifata nk’aho ari ibintu by’akanya gato bivuze ko biba bibategura kuzatandukana n’abo bazashakana mu gihe gito gishoboka.

Iyo ufite uwo wita umukunzi, ibyo bikora ku marangamutima ye, niyo mpamvu uba ugomba kugira ukuri n’ubunyamugayo mu mibanire yanyu.

Hari ikibazo uba ukwiye kwibaza ukanakisubiza. Ese ari wowe wakwifuza ko bakina n’amarangamutima yawe nk’uko umwana akina n’ibikinisho bye? Ese birakwiye ko baguhitamo uyu munsi nk’umukunzi kugira ngo ejo bazakureke bafate undi bahisemo?

Hari uwagusubiza ko kugira inshuti ari ukwishimisha mu gihe cy’ubuto bwawe, ariko mu by’ukuri nta byo kwishimisha kuri wowe mu gihe undi, ibyo wita kwishimisha yabifashe nk’ukuri.

Ikindi ingimbi n’abangavu ni abantu bagira irari ryo guhuza ibitsina ku kigero cyo hejuru, ku buryo gukundana bishobora kugeza amarangamutima yabo mu gukora ibitari byiza birimo ubusambanyi buzana ingaruka nyinshi zirimo inda zitateguwe n’indwara zandurira mu mibonano mpuzabitsina. Abenshi bo muri icyo kigero baba bafite amatsiko menshi ku birebana n’imibonano mpuzabitsina.

Ese witeguye kurwanya iryo rari gute?

Rom 12:2: “Ntimugakurikize imibereho y’ab’iki gihe, ahubwo mureke Imana ivugurure ibitekerezo byanyu mube muhindutse rwose. Ni bwo muzashobora kumenya neza ibyo Imana ishaka, kugirango muhitemo ibyiza biyishimishije kandi bitunganye rwose”.

1kor. 6: 18-20

Umwanditsi: NAHAYO Pelagie

Ibyifashishijwe

Les jeunes s’interrogent – réponses pratiques, volume 2