Mu buzima bwa buri muntu habamo ibigeragezo n’ibihe bitoroshye. Ibyo bihe biba bitandukanye bitewe n’uwo ari we, imiterere ye, n’aho aherereye. Bishobora kuba kubura akazi, kubura ubushobozi bwo gukora ibyo ukeneye by’ibanze, kubura umuntu ukunda, uburwayi bwawe, ubw’uwo mu muryango wawe cyangwa inshuti yawe, amakimbirane mu muryango, akarengane, intambara, ibiza, …

Ibyo bibazo bishobora kuba iby’iminota mike, amasaha, iminsi, amezi cyangwa imyaka. Ikirushaho gukomerera ubirimo ni uko hari igihe bitinda gukemuka cyangwa uko iminsi ishira bikagenda byiyongera kurushaho.

Ibi byose bishobora gutera ubirimo kwiheba no gucika intege, ndetse yaba asenga agatekereza ko Imana yamwibagiwe cyangwa yamwibasiye.

Nyamara n’ubwo kwiheba bigera kuri buri wese, hari zimwe ngamba zifasha umuntu gusubirana icyizere n’imbaraga zo gukomeza urugendo rw’ubuzima.

1.     Kwemera ko ufite ibibazo

Intambwe ya mbere ni ukwemera ko ufite ikibazo kiguhangayikishije. Gushaka kukirengagiza no gusa n’utekereza ko kidahari bituma kirushaho gukomera. Nyamara iyo wemeye ko gihari, uba uteye intambwe nziza kandi uba utangiye urugendo rwo kugishakira ibisubizo.

2.     Kwibuka no kwemera ko ibihe bibi bidahoraho

Bimwe mu byo ukwiye kuzirikana mu gihe cy’ibibazo, ni uko ibihe bibi bidahoraho iteka ryose. Uko ijoro risimburana n’amanywa niko n’igihe cy’ibibazo kigera aho kigasimburwa no kuruhuka ibyo bibazo bikabona ibisubizo, bikavaho cyangwa bigasimburwa n’ibindi bitari ibyo.

3.     Gufungura amaso ukareba ibyiza ufite

Guhangayika no kwiheba akenshi bikubuza kureba andi mahirwe agukikije. Nyama n’ubwo bimeze bityo, hari undi ukureba akabona uko umeze ari byo yahitamo kuruta ibyo arimo. Umuntu wese, mu bibazo yaba arimo byose, haba hari n’ibindi byinshi bisa n’amahirwe afite, ariko akaba atabibona kubera ko ahanze amaso ibibazo gusa.

Hari ibintu byinshi abantu badaha agaciro kandi ari iby’agaciro. Kuryama nijoro ugasinzira ibyo ni amahirwe kuko hari benshi baba babuze aho baryama cyangwa babuze uko baryama.

Kubyuka uri muzima, ugatekereza bigakunda, ukagenda bikemera, ukumva mu mubiri wawe ni hazima ntaho ubabara, ntabwo ukwiye kubitesha agaciro kuko hari benshi babyifuza kandi ntibishoboke. Kuba waragize amahirwe yo kugira abantu cyangwa inshuti zigukunda bihe agaciro, kuko hari uwifuza kubona nibura umuntu wamwitaho cyangwa se wamubwira ko amukunda akabibura. Kuba warashoboye kujya mu ishuri ukiga n’ubwo hari abaharanye kugira ngo ubigereho, cyangwa ukaba warigomwe byinshi ku giti cyawe, waravunitse kuko udafite ugufasha ariko bigakunda wibitesha agaciro kuko hari banshi bagerageje bikanga ndetse ubu bakaba batazi no gusoma.  Niba ufite akazi kavunanye kandi kaguhemba amafaranga make, ntibikwiye kukubuza gutekereza ko hari abantu benshi badafite ako kazi, bashobora no kuba bafite ibyatuma bagakora neza kukurusha, ariko bakaba barabuze n’akari munsi y’ako ufite.

Kugira amahirwe yo kubona uwo mwubakana ndetse mukagira umugisha ugeretseho wo kubona urubyaro ntibigomba kukwibagiza ko hari ababuze.

Ikigeragezo cy’uburwayi ntabwo gikwiye kuguherana ngo kikubuze kubona ko nibura uri gushobora kwivuza kandi wenda ukaba wizeye ko uzakira. Mu barwayi naho hari ibyiciro: hari abahora mu bubabare budashira, hari abari muri koma batumva na gato, hari abamaze imyaka myinshi barwaye, hari abana n’abakuze, abafite abarwaza n’abatabafite. Mu cyiciro cyose urimo haba hari undi uvuga ati: “niba na biriya"

Mu Kinyarwanda baravuga ngo” Ntukihebe ugihumeka”. Uwawe cyangwa se wowe ubwawe ushobora kuba uri mukaga, ariko niba ukiri muzima ni amahirwe, niba ugihumeka humura, kuko iyo uri muzima byose biba bishoboka.

Ibyo ni bike mu mahirwe menshi ufite ariko nugerageza gufunga maso ugatekereza, urabona byinshi birenze ibyavuzwe. ibyo byose bizagutera imbaraga bikurinde ubwihebe.

4.     Kwizera Imana ku basenga

Umwanditsi RICK WARREN, atanga inama zagufasha mu gihe wumva Imana isa nk’aho iri kure yawe. Avuga ko igihe kizakurushya mu kwizera kwawe kuruta ibindi, ari ubwo uzaba uri mu bibazo wahamagara Imana igasa n’aho yazindutse (ukagira ngo ntiyumva).

Avuga ko ukwiye:

Kwerurira Imana ukayibwira uko wumva umeze;

Gutumbira kamere y’Imana no kudahinduka kwayo. Imana ihora ari nziza kandi igira urukundo,  ishobora byose, igenga byose, ifite umugambi mwiza ku buzima bwa muntu.

Kwizera ko izasohoza amasezerano yayo ( amasezerano yayo menshi aboneka mu ijambo ryayo, urugero: Zaburi 23, …)

Kwibuka ibyo Imana yagukoreye mu bihe byashize.

Kugira ibyiringiro biguha imbaraga zo gukomeza urugendo. Iyo wemera ko ushobora kongera guhaguruka nyuma yo kugwa, cyangwa kwishima nyuma yo kubabara, ibyo biguha imbaraga zo gukomeza gukora ibyo ugomba gukora no kwihangana kuko wizeye ko imbere hari ibyiza kandi ko nta kitagira iherezo.

Umwanditsi: NAHAYO Pelagie

Ibyifashishijwe

https://positivepsychology.com/fr/processus-de-conseil/

Ubuzima bufite intego, RICK WARREN, 2002